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Toxic Relationship

Ancient Racing

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Dolphin friendly tuna

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

TV jester.

Cow's straw

On the brink.

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

Gym Dog

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

"Frankly, I never would've figured you for an S.U.V. person."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

"Life is too short! Why should I waste my time frantically searching for a mate when I can create art instead..."

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

Pea

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

"I love this time of year."

"They don't look like an endangered species."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

St Bernard delivering teddy to avalanche victim

"Your right.. It is waving back at us."

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.