Maintenance Engineer T-Shirts

"Hi, I'm your new neighbour. I work as a maintenance engineer on the Thames Flood Barrier."

'The computer will never replace maintenance engineering.'

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"He loves his leaf blower."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

Another Turning Point in the Industrial Revolution. Ford Motor Co. On second thought, let's put the cars on the conveyor belt.

Gondolier skimming up leaves in pool.

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

Not much money, glory, or praise

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

'Well, that's fixed that.'

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

Lazy plumber.

Clearing the castle's moat.

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

Bio Fuels.

A plumber preparing to go under a house's dark crawl space sees many eyes looking back from the darkness.

Plumbing Cartoon 7437: Invention of an Automatic Toilet Flusher A) A plumbing Engineer left a stall, toilet paper stuck to his shoe, B) turning the roll, C) releasing a catapult, D) shooting a ball to a loop-de-loop. E) When the ball hit the plumbing engi

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

'If you could roll up your sleeves, go behind the screen and plaster the wall.'

'No it's still not fixed'

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

Time Clock

Met Office: Wet today and dry tomorrow.

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

'Day two at the...brain transplant institute.'