Main Course Master Mugs

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

The president's men

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Running

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"Mulch madness"

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

National Coffee Day

I love Basketball.

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

"So our agreed strategy is to dominate the market and it creeps profits by 670%. Anybody any idea how to do it?"

"How 'local' is the fish?"

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

"Give us a minute, honey."

'Whoa,Man!...(Phew!)...Boy,that was a close shave!'

Keen gardener.

"I’ve got to wake up early so I’m just going to wear my clothes for tomorrow to bed."

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

"You folks ready to order?"

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten, or extra gluten."

"Don't order anything that will embarass me."

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."

'Compliment me on my perfect pronunciation of this junk,and there'll be a good tip in it for you.'