Mailing List Manager Gifts

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

A dog postal worker delivers through a letterbox in a doggy door.

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Yoga To-Do

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

"Please disregard the previous message - it was inadvertently sent to everyone on our list."

"I'm sure you do spend all your time here at the office, but could you please stop having your mail delivered here?"

"As a cub I got fed up with circus life, so I took a job in the mail room."

'Cold hard facts are good, but to complete the picture, here's Brenda from the mailroom with some hot, juicy gossip.'

"Master, you have 175,568 unread messages in your inbox."

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

'Out of office - Please leave your emails in the inbox next door.'

"You've got to compress it because my email account is limited to 3MB."

"Jim will have to call you back. He's trying to find his real mail that's buried in all the junk mail."

"Great, only 1,692,358 emails."

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

'I know I just started working here, but is there any way I could get a company car, a membership to a country club and use of the corporate jet? This would greatly enhance my performance in the mail room.'

Santa carrying a sack full of mail

"I love email, it allows me to give ten times as much work to ten times as many people with one tenth of my effort."

'This is the mail room, they're a little short of staff sometimes.'

Man sees box on street labeled Mail-Mail.

'That's why your checkbook balance looks so good. You sent all of your online bills to the junk file.'

"Darn it, she's unreachable when she gets her inbox down to zero."

"Whoa, don't hand me my pay cheque. I'm allergic to peanuts!"

Spam Folders

"You don't just become a vanquisher. You have to start in the mailroom."

'That looks like an unauthorized ride on the mail cart.'