Mail Delivery Maestro Gifts

"Take off your mailman's uniform before you return home. We have a new dog."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Text Culture

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

Target your message

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

'Grrrr....'

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

'Dow goes up, Dow goes 'round, but we'll keep rockin' 'til the Fed cracks down . . . '

"My best friend is my phone."

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

'What does the internet have against my people?'

Records?

"He's cooing on the ledge. May I take a message?"

"There's the mailman!"

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

'I don't think I could have picked a tougher line of work.'

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

"And that's why we don't have nice things."

"Cool game!"

Beware of the dog.

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

'I guess I never should have quit the rodeo'

"They've already had two upgrades while we've been standing in line."

Postman in the Snow

"I cant do that! Who's gonna deliver the mail?!"

"Hmm, great! - no sign of that dog..."

"Jim will have to call you back. He's trying to find his real mail that's buried in all the junk mail."

'Not cars. here we're testing oblivious texters walking into walls.'