Mail Delivery Maestro T-Shirts

"Take off your mailman's uniform before you return home. We have a new dog."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Text Culture

'It seems to work, I couldn't afford a blackberry!'

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

Target your message

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

'If I can't do it by iPhone, I don't do it.'

'Grrrr....'

'Dow goes up, Dow goes 'round, but we'll keep rockin' 'til the Fed cracks down . . . '

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

"My best friend is my phone."

'What does the internet have against my people?'

Football is like investing. It's good to have a diversified portfolio. A team should use a balanced mix of run plays and pass plays. And sometimes the quarterback is smart to accept a sack rather than trying something too risky. Right. Take the small loss and move on. A defensive player getting a finger on a pass can have a big impact. In both football and investing a tip can be a real game changer. But some things are different. Football has nothing like a T-Bill. There are no guarant

Records?

"He's cooing on the ledge. May I take a message?"

"I lost all my hair to the texting bubbles that came and went without saying a word."

"There's the mailman!"

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

'I don't think I could have picked a tougher line of work.'

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

"Cool game!"

"And that's why we don't have nice things."

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

Beware of the dog.

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

'I guess I never should have quit the rodeo'

"Hmm, great! - no sign of that dog..."

Postman in the Snow

"I cant do that! Who's gonna deliver the mail?!"

"They've already had two upgrades while we've been standing in line."

"Jim will have to call you back. He's trying to find his real mail that's buried in all the junk mail."