Magnification Magician T-Shirts

Man photographing fish through magnifying glass

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'How fast can you hype?'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

Team Leader

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

Smoke and mirrors.

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

Stupid Microwave

Inkwell Genie.

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

'My mother says I have a vivid imagination.'

The Forever Stamp

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

Lazy plumber.

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

'Let's see if we could put a spin on it and get the public interested.'

Stealing thoughts.

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

'Everyone's using your theorem, Pythagoras. I told you you should have patented it.'