Magical Pet Motivator Pillows

"She will take me on more walks."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

"Oooooh....a western wear dog cone. Sexy!"

'Now cut that out!'

"Doc, can you make my bite worse than my bark? You see there's this cat . . ."

Vets: 'That's funny, he was here a minute ago.'

"Come on... you love knocking things off the counter!"

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

Rescue dog rejecting potential owners

"Krishnan, why is it when you enter my room there's a general absence of hope?"

"Don't think of them as fleas. Think of them as your entourage!"

How many ways can a coach say 'get the ball and score some points'.

"Remember... the cork. You're supposed to smell the cork!"

"It's my birthday. How about a free drink?"

'Beware of Dog' sign next to accordion-playing canine.

'Come and see this,Dad!'

Lost CatCat Found.

"Do they say that pets resemble their owners, or owners resemble pets?"

'He's got laryngitis. I'll have to speak for him.'

"I thought you were teaching him to fetch, not kvetch."

Cats-can-sell anything advertising agency.

"He expects us to climbdown first."

Spot's favorite game is "hard to pet".

Bob has natural animal magnetism.

"You know, during these debates there's something that all too often gets ignored."

Wiener Dog Meets a Hot Dog Wiener

"You know what I love? Rolling in dead squirrel." "Oh, my God, yes! How about peeing on the floor at Petco?!" "Wait, wait–what's the farthest distance either of you have rubbed your butt across a carpet?!"

Lady sees 'Stop' sign above cat at shelter, thinks, 'Well ... I did ask for a sign.'

"I'm working on finding a healthier alternative to sniffing butts."

"My master got my new tags. Now I've got collar ID!"

At a mansion with a doorman a dog and cat have their own little doors with their own little doormen.

"I just got released from da pound. What's yer name, sweetie?"

"He's a little shy around people."

Pinnochio's Dog.