Magical League Manager Pillows

Unicorn playing Reality Football League

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

Team Leader

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

Mittens is challenged by the string.

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

Cleric with bible briefcase.

Dogs life

"Thank God you're home. Someone crapped on the carpet again."

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

"While you were out, the staff whittled away your desk into a totem pole."

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'The part I love is when they come home and say 'WHO did this?. . .'

Two children play with a pedal bin

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

'Should-do and shouldn't-do sound a lot alike.'

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

'In keeping with the team approach, we've traded you for two middle managers to be named later.'

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

"Whoever dug up my carrots had better learn to play dead, fast."

Teacher's pet dog

"Come on boy. Tell Daddy where you buried the leg of lamb."