Magical Gastronomist T-Shirts

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

Counting ribs

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

'Needs salt!'

The Witches Discover The Wok

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

Witch's Brew.

"How's the salmon?"

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

60 minute wait for a table, 15 minute wait for a server, 40 minutes for teh appetizers...

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

"I'm unable to process this image."

Happy hour.

"Carpe pizza"

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza

'Maybe we shouldn't show how sausage and foie gras are made on the same day.'

"First you make a roux."

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

"I want to set the world record for eating the most empanadas ever!"

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

'Of course it's high in protein. Just look at this!'

'Our menu is divided into three sections: Cancer causing foods, artery clogging foods, and foods that are being boycotted for political or environmental reasons.'

"Ah! dehydrogenated non-milk fat solids with a soupcon of deoxyhydropesane and sweetners...just like mum used to make."