Magical Gastronomist T-Shirts

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

Counting ribs

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

'Needs salt!'

The Witches Discover The Wok

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"How's the salmon?"

Witch's Brew.

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

60 minute wait for a table, 15 minute wait for a server, 40 minutes for teh appetizers...

Happy hour.

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

"I'm unable to process this image."

"Carpe pizza"

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza

'Maybe we shouldn't show how sausage and foie gras are made on the same day.'

"I want to set the world record for eating the most empanadas ever!"

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

'Of course it's high in protein. Just look at this!'

"First you make a roux."

'Our menu is divided into three sections: Cancer causing foods, artery clogging foods, and foods that are being boycotted for political or environmental reasons.'

"Ah! dehydrogenated non-milk fat solids with a soupcon of deoxyhydropesane and sweetners...just like mum used to make."

'Marmaduke, have you been drooling on my cookbooks again?'