Magical Foodie Gifts

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

'And a piece of algae for Omega 3.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Ice Cream Surgeon

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"You do like octopus?"

What the Doctor Ordered

Domestic Goddess.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

Fast food. Even faster food

La Table

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Pigeon Little

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."