Magic Show Lover Pillows

"We've been getting a lot of calls saying that you're a terrible magician."

Circus Lady

Rabbit in a hat.

"Our next act...Cruzini, the world's greatest magician!"

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

"Here we are."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

Primitive magician

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

'Don't touch that tooth, dad. I'm expecting the tooth fairy at any moment.'

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

Cheating Death.

Cut out and keep your own Fairy Godmother.

'What? You used a Welshman? The recipe specifically calls for a scot!'

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

Beware of the Cat.

"You'll build another bug collection in no time."

Suddenly, Becky noticed something which gave her pause.

"At least she's reading."

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'You're thinking of your wife again, aren't you?'

'Please enter your pin now.'

"There's nothing magical about if, actually I just have a knack for this sort of thing."

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

"No guarantees, right?"

Witch takes off on a runway surrounded by planes.

'Not here, Fred.'

"And for my next trick, an evidence-based strategy!"