Magic Realist Pillows

'What do you mean the FDA is going to start regulating the use of eyes of Newts?'

'I can grant you 3 wishes, but I'm not responsible for the tax ramifications.'

"Believe me, there's a difference between fairy dust and pixie dust, but this is gravel from your driveway."

"Now that's power."

'What do you mean, 'you can't think of anything'?'

''I'm really sorry about this, but having your job was one of his wishes.'

'I just happened to be in the right place at the right time to make CEO.'

"Nope, Genies come in lamps. What usually washes ashore is garbage, sewage, medical waste and an occasional litigator."

Airport

"Wanting to view it after taxes will cost you another wish."

Characters jumping out of a book.

Isabel Allende

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

Bathroom Fairy

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

Unicorn in the Woods

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

"Hello, Number 6!"

"Put on a tie. We've been invited to the castle."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

"I am the Genie of the Bong! I will grant you... um... I am the Genie of the Bong!"

Rural Cityscape

Why unicorns became extinct.

Ok, the first challenge is to throw out all the cheap crap in the swag bag we just gave you.

"My mind is plenty open, Grandma. But not so much that my brain falls out."

"It's no good, Martin, it's still in the room."

'Professor Hallkitt! Over here! I found some more Cave paintings!'

Genius.