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"For me, crime pays for what Medicare doesn't cover."

"Which one of you runts squealed?"

'That's right, Frank, this is a double-cross. I'm really a Mafia dog.'

'Sorry Rocko, you know how it works. Step on a crack, break your mother's back.'

'Make it look like an accident'.

"Caught much today?"

"Housekeeping?!"

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

'Every time you lose an argument, you put a horse's head on my side of the bed!'

"I like his style. He makes it look like an accident."

Gangsta wrap.

'Sure we've got a lot of anger. We also got a lot cement.'

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

Why did the chicken cross the mafia

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"Your resume indicates a fair bit of experience in the field of problem solving."

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

"Better idea! Let's obstruct traffic in the guy's neighborhood and make his morning commute difficult!"

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

"Who, Big Sal? Sure, we were in cahoots years ago, but we fell out of cahoots."

"Keep your best friend close but the squirrels closer."

'When did mum stop just sending us to our room?'

'Before you buy the gun can I ask if you thought about taking your cat to the vets first?'

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

Egg gangsters, "All I'm saying is that most people think it wise to take out a little insurance".

Raffia Mafia - "Vinny, there's some nice baskets comin' in through Queens."

The Codfather.