Mad Science Aficionados T-Shirts

"To return to normal height professor, we simply: 1. Switch on The Nano-Ray. 2. Find the Plug; 3. Insert it..."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Einstein's T-Shirt reads: My Wife Doesn't Understand Me.

'...and so you see our profits, not unlike Sir Isaac Newton, have felt the effects of gravity.'

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Think Tank

"Do you realize that you and I have it in our power to cause quite a brouhaha?'

"Yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde thing is weird, but if I play it right, I get fed twice."

'I may not know about DNA, but I sure as hell know about recombinant.'

"I'm studying the effects of prolonged radiation exposure on a panzerotti."

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

For the last time, Bobby, I told you – every other person gets the red cup with the placebo. Lemonade 50¢.

Bio Lab. You spliced phoenix DNA into a lemming? What are you trying to make? A perpetual motion machine!

"Some Debussy, Igor."

'GM apples prevent Migraine'

"…And just what do you think you're going to do with your silly death ray once you've finished it?!"

It's an experiment.

'Interview Dr. Witt for your esteemed journal? Of course, as soon as his play period is over.'

'Catch this!'

'I've just realised where we went wron...g'

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Coffee

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

The Bride of Finkelstein!

'I started off as a single cell and now I'm in one.'

Uncle Mort, have you been playing with your home genetic engineering kit again? Guilty. I was trying to clone my own DNA. For laughs, I mixed up my genes with compost. Mixed up? Technically, cross-bred. Trump is a meathead! Well, you're a vegetable.

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

'That kid! He forgot it again!'

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

Frankenstein egg.

"Well, we got the grant."