Macho Sound Enthusiast Pillows

'Yes, this bike complies with the town's new noise pollution laws, but we've programmed this MP3 player with brrroom brrroom sounds, so you can still feel macho while riding it.'

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

Men can show their emotions!

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

Soldiers' Ego

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

Man with many tattoos.

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

"Take no notice of George - it's just because he opened a jam jar earlier!"

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

'That rig has made me feel more like a man than any woman ever did.'

Arm and leg wrestling.

Rhinovirus (Common Cold) vs Rhinovirus-M (Man Cold)

"Your old boyfriend came by. He wants to patch things up."

'My speed limit is bigger than yours.'

"Why don't we call it a draw?"

The Men Thing. . .

'He's a big softie really'.

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

Macho Males: Putin and Obama

"Mom said grandpa killed it so his penis would feel bigger."

'Oh yeah? Step outside and say that!'

'I told you it was a full bodied wine, but you just had to mess with it.'

'Do you have a hat for every day of the week, Clancy?'

"Now that's a splinter."

Clancy: Snake

'I like my guys tough, you know, the kind who leave the crusts on their sandwiches.'

"Hey, Henry! How's the car?"

'He turned out hard boiled.'

"I don't even like bacon that much, but eat a lot of it to impress chicks."

"Can you open this form me?"

"Howard is my most male friend."