Macho Sound Enthusiast Pillows

'Yes, this bike complies with the town's new noise pollution laws, but we've programmed this MP3 player with brrroom brrroom sounds, so you can still feel macho while riding it.'

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

Men can show their emotions!

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

Sylvester Stallone

Soldiers' Ego

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

Man with many tattoos.

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

"Take no notice of George - it's just because he opened a jam jar earlier!"

'That rig has made me feel more like a man than any woman ever did.'

Arm and leg wrestling.

"Why don't we call it a draw?"

Rhinovirus (Common Cold) vs Rhinovirus-M (Man Cold)

'My speed limit is bigger than yours.'

"Your old boyfriend came by. He wants to patch things up."

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

The Men Thing. . .

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

Macho Males: Putin and Obama

'He's a big softie really'.

"Mom said grandpa killed it so his penis would feel bigger."

'Oh yeah? Step outside and say that!'

'Do you have a hat for every day of the week, Clancy?'

'I told you it was a full bodied wine, but you just had to mess with it.'

"Now that's a splinter."

Clancy: Snake

"Hey, Henry! How's the car?"

'I like my guys tough, you know, the kind who leave the crusts on their sandwiches.'

"I don't even like bacon that much, but eat a lot of it to impress chicks."

'He turned out hard boiled.'

"Howard is my most male friend."