Macho Office Worker Gifts

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

'I just love that little fluffy grey kitten!'

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

Important Muscles.

Soldiers' Ego

Department of Who's Your Daddy?

Alpha males through the ages!

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

"Wanna come over and watch the big game?....I was actually talking about the new 'Pac-Man vs. Superman' X-box game."

"This is all my own hair."

'I looked into their eyes before I shot them, with my high-powered rifle, from half a mile away.'

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

'That's a good start, Betsy, but could you make it more macho?'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

Arm and leg wrestling.

'I want my money back -- I'm still a wuss.'

"I recommend the lobster today, sir, if you think you're man enough."

"Leave it, Cedric! - It's always the same; you have a few drinks and all you want to do is take the world on. . .!"

Bill just couldn't wait for his testosterone to kick in.

'He's a big softie really'.

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

Soft answer that turneth away wrath bar and grill...formerly, Salty's

Macho Males: Putin and Obama

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

The Men Thing. . .

'Oh yeah? Step outside and say that!'

'I told you it was a full bodied wine, but you just had to mess with it.'

"Now that's a splinter."

'Do you have a hat for every day of the week, Clancy?'