Machine Magician T-Shirts

For years he had spent every free moment working on his perpetual motion machine. So far, he was up to 18 seconds.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'My mother says I have a vivid imagination.'

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

The Forever Stamp

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

Lazy plumber.

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

'Let's see if we could put a spin on it and get the public interested.'

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

'Everyone's using your theorem, Pythagoras. I told you you should have patented it.'

Product Formula - "He's brilliant. But his mind wanders."

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

"Music helps with maths... like which song got to number one... which song got to number two..."

A2+B2=C2, 'Are you sure you're not just making this stuff up?'

'Johannes Kepler's uphill batle'

'Oh, Wow! You write math books? That's wonderful! Where do you get your ideas?'

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

"Frank, I need your help. The computers are down, but I was told you know how to multiply two numbers together."