Macabre Marriage Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Do you Death, take this woman until life do you part?"

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

"Hello, and welcome to Victor and Igor's latest unboxing video."

Disco Dancing

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

So all is not rosy in the garden?

"It's about time you finished the wall, Herbet...that's your problem, you never finish anything you start!"

'You think you're an incurable romantic? My prescription is to get married.'

'It started with between-meal snacks -- now he's having between-snack noshes.'

"I figured you'd end up looking like that."

Gender Symbols

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

"I love marriage...It's my husband I hate."

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

"I married for contrast."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, for whatever that's worth these days.'

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

Dog to person whose legs are sticking out of doghouse: 'Which important date did you forget this time, Jeff?'

"She was my secretary before we got married, now she's the treasurer."

"That's Stuart and Vivian Muntner. They're a one-marriage family."

'Don't blame the King, Ma'am. This was all his divorce lawyer's idea.'

"Well, Pook, here's to one old marriage that just won't go away."

"I agreed to 'for better' and 'for worse,' but never to 'for mysterious' and 'withholding'."

"Now, if something happens to your marriage, do you want do-not resuscitate?"

'Harriet just became a senior, but she's an oldie, but goodie.'

"Why, it's a little piece of red yarn! Oh Harold, you always know JUST what to get me."