Mac And Cheese Mischief-maker Pillows

'Macaroni and cheese, three nights in a row?... That's justifiable homicide in my book!'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

"Great news! They just bought a new rug we can throw up on!"

"Call me crazy, but I say we give up on medical research and develop really healthy mac and cheese."

"They love me...they really, really love me!"

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

"Terrific - degrees from the macaroni institute and the cheese academy."

Clandestine Cuisine

'You ordered the stuffed sea bass, didn't you?'

'You still have breakfast and lunch on your dinner menu.'

"They've agreed to drop the charges, but only if you agree never to stuff the turkey again."

Frankie the discount genie

Realistic resolutions 1. Give up drinking (until you have a terrible day on January 7th) 2. Exercise (until you realise it is too cold and you are too tired) 3. Eat healthy food (until you remember that you love - and in fact need - an enormous plate of mac 'n' cheese)

"Tonight, the part of the sea bass will be played by the chicken."

Oh, confound it, I was in landscape mode.

Happy Valentine's Day, Millennial,

'Oh, I was hoping '8G on the potato salad' was code for some lewd act you were suggesting.'

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"

'Though we have to lay you off, our severance package - a carton of macaroni and cheese and a voucher for $25 at the snack machine - should help.'

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.