Lycanthropy Aficionados T-Shirts

"Really, Larry? Of all the things that could have bitten you, you get a wereduck?"

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

Knight in shining Lycra!

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

"I hate this time of year."

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

"They can steal my bike, but they can't take my dignity."

"It's a full moon somewhere."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"You know... if we don't find some ambition we could find ourselves still just laying around years from now." "Sounds good to me!"

Ladies in Lycra

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

"Here it comes!"

If there's one thing I've learned, it's this: Never trust someone who tries to sell you nine life insurance policies.

The Wolfman's Crime and his Shameful, Secret, Addiction!

"Brian and I were destined to be a couple. We both hate everyone else."

I HATE STUFF

"There was a bee."

"I know that the industy has a responsibility to challenge climate change. . ."

'Well, he's not exactly germane.'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man! I hear you're a political operative these days. Yep. I'm working for my candidate out on the champagne trail. We do fundracing, skunk speeches, clownhall meetings ... What about interviews? Sound blights are one of my specialties! Actually, I derange just about everything! I think you fit perfectly in the world of politics, Malaprop Man!

'That's my jogging suit.'

Ladies in Lycra

'Misanthropology.'

In Memory of Old Bob Who Loved This Park But Hated People

"I kind of like you in these moods, Phil!"

'. . . You're starting an anti-social network. . .'

"Remember, if anyone asks, we say we wear these fantastic outfits because they're aerodynamic."

"Ok I was wrong. It's not a cold, you are a werewolf."

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man! What are you reading? A book about the evolutionary war. You know, the American columnists against the British red colts! I just read about the battle of Bumper Hill, the Boston ski party, Benefit Arnold, and all of the floundering fathers. I'm very interested in hysterical events! No surprise. Every time you speak, you create a new one!

'The landlord's here, and he looks hungry!'

Swan Inn: No children or men in lycra

"Oh look, Dave. There's a lovely full moon out tonight."