Luxury Sleepers Pillows

"For a great day's sleep you can't beat out new line of memory foam coffins."

I'm looking forward tot he day we can afford some real statues for this place.

"So...do you have a job now?"

Private Jet

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

Interpretive napping

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

"We're at the Grand Marina Hotel in Barcelona. Some sheepdog you turned out to be."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

Programmer Dreams

"Why did we wait to get recliners?"

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'I'm able to live the American dream by getting paid in Euros, running my business form an offshore tax haven and getting European style universal health care.'

"Not me, brother - you wake him!"

Sleeping masks

'I'd say the couch is contouring a bit TOO much to their bodies.'

Champagne and Oysters

"What do you have that's bigger than 'king'?"

'Post-Hibernation Blues'

"Wow, you sleep up to 18 hours a day! Me too!"

"Tonight the covers stay on my side."

"This alarm clock is guaranteed to wake you. It's sounds like a husband snoring."

"Just two paragraphs from our internet provider's terms and conditions agreement and she was out like a light."

"Sorry - is my snoring driving you nuts?"

'This baby says you've arrived. A little late perhaps. Missed a turn, had to stop for directions, but eventually got there.'

'Why have you put that pen and notebook there?'

'I got rid of those funny little spots in front of my eyes. Now what's bugging me is a buzzing noise in my ears, like somebody sawing logs.'

'The New Year break really gives you a chance to have a fresh look at life...at what you're achieving with your limited time on this earth.'

'Get up or I'll send in gramma.'