Luxury Sales Associate T-Shirts

The car showroom

'This scent goes well with a diamond necklace.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

Cut Price

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

Haute Suture

Bubbly

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Baroque Peacock

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

New Shoes.

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

Woman at spa having bath in a Martini cocktail glass.

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

'Rozlyn, that blouse is very cute! I think you should get it.'