Luxury Service Professional T-Shirts

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Sloaney Pony.

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

La Table

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

Bubbly

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

Baroque Peacock

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"This is our soft opening."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

New Shoes.

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

Woman at spa having bath in a Martini cocktail glass.

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

Kensington Fluffies

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'