Luxury Lover With An Ironic Twist Gifts

"Next song's called Dirt-poor Boxcar Man which I wrote partly in the VIP lounge at JFK in my private limo on the way here tonight."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

New Shoes.

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Kensington Fluffies

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'Don't be nervous, relax...he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like you do. Of course, his pants are tailor made and cost $600 a pair...'

Woman thinking about luxuries.

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

'At first I wasn't going to join, but with a name like that, how could I resist?'

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

Smart card.

"I understand the Everest climb used to be quite a chore."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."