Luxury Lifestyle Gifts

Haven't eaten caviar since the bailout.

'It has all the comfort of a regular jet, but it's invisible to shareholders.'

Ladies who lunch.

'At prices like this I bet you don't get many customers in here.' - 'At prices like this we don't need many.'

'One day I just decided, screw it - I'm as rich as hell and I'm not going to fake it anymore.'

Now at the Farmers' Market

"Things have gotten bad here. There's talk of a war with another gated community."

Posh Doghouse.

Yacht Club: Valet Parking $25,000.

My Goal: The Hamptons

'I'm tired of being a jet-setter. I want to settle down, raise kids, run my own airline...'

"One day, son, all this will belong to the youngest woman willing to make her body my playground."

Royal Ascot

'Yes, I can park it...but the gratuity just went up.'

"Your cadillac is blocking my driveway."

These people are having more fun in 60 seconds that we'll have in a lifetime.

'It's all your fault-trying to keep up with the Catherine Zeta Joneses!'

'New money or old money?'

'Since winning Lotto, I stay only in five-star hotels: No need for a shell anymore...'

"Yes, my watch costs three times your annual salary. Now you know why I can't give you a raise...my wife needs a watch, too."

"Hello, customer support? My server appears to be down."

'I hoped retirement would look like this.'

'If being a CEO was easy, everybody would be doing it.'

"We invest in the market, winter in the Alps, summer in the Hamptons, and vote for the Donald. That's it in the nutshell."

(I ride a harley, I drive a porsche, I smoke cigars, I drink martinis...) (So, ….You're impotent?)

"Quality of life insurance protects you and your family in the event of the death of your life style."

Bathtime #2

"Also included in the package is a vague sense of your not being good enough to stay here."

'I fail to note the significance of rising sea levels here on the 39th floor.'

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

'Which wine would you suggest, to go with an enormous expense account?'

Drug Deal Gone Right IV

"As for the meaning of life, it doesn't have to suck."

Brought to you by MONEY

"Any one of these will make the company even richer."