Luxury Living Gifts

'Something is missing.'

'It's called sustainable living. He can survive for days out here.'

'From living beyond our means, we've gone to living beyond our wildest expectations!'

'House for sale, lifestyle inlcuded.'

'This is supposed to be a deluxe garden bed. I assume that means it'll include 1,000 thread count sheets.'

"These are luxury apartments, so use the good water."

"My approach is nontraditional, but from a uniquely Western perspective."

A fat cat in a suit smoking a cigar.

"This is really putting a crimp in my plan to live in the woods and survive off nothing but berries and grubs."

'Polly doesn't want a cracker, Polly wants a condo in Florida.'

'We felt obliged to downsize to this place, when we realised we had 125 empty bedrooms.'

'Ahoy there! We've been adrift for three weeks. Can we come aboard and use your toilet?'

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

Walk in bath.

Country mansion full of dogs.

'People that say money can't buy happiness have never had money.'

Outhouse Penthouse

Escaped criminal says: 'I used to live in a gated community, but it wasn't for me.'

"I got a nose job last summer." "I decided to do my lips and cheekbones." "This isn't even my real head."

"They won't let me disclose the terms of the settlement, but they can't stop me from hinting broadly at it by living extravagantly."

Utility Companies Managers.

'It's lonely at the top, but it's a good lonely.'

The Great Catsby.

'Well, when in doubt, I always say, pick the wine that'll impress the hell out of the complete strangers at the next table.'

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

'Darling, I'll have my coffee in my den...'

"We specialise in affordable housing - affordable for oil shieks, oligarchs and the heads of colombian cartels..."

'Parties, discoteques, pubs... It's hard enough spending all your money without me having to earn it first'!

'No suspicious circumstances here chief. Just some old rich dude who spoiled himself rotten.'

'I'd say the couch is contouring a bit TOO much to their bodies.'

"This is my place, and that's the guest house."

"If you want folks to see you're serious about carbon off-setting, plant it round the front - this is where our helipad is going!"

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

"Wow, an African Blackwood cat-flap and a red carpet! They must really love you!"

"It drives me MAD when people whine about the amount top management get paid. . ."