Luxury Living Gifts

'Something is missing.'

'It's called sustainable living. He can survive for days out here.'

'From living beyond our means, we've gone to living beyond our wildest expectations!'

'House for sale, lifestyle inlcuded.'

'This is supposed to be a deluxe garden bed. I assume that means it'll include 1,000 thread count sheets.'

"These are luxury apartments, so use the good water."

"My approach is nontraditional, but from a uniquely Western perspective."

'This condo is the height of luxury, The sprinkler system sprays Perrier,'

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

'Ahoy there! We've been adrift for three weeks. Can we come aboard and use your toilet?'

'We felt obliged to downsize to this place, when we realised we had 125 empty bedrooms.'

"This is really putting a crimp in my plan to live in the woods and survive off nothing but berries and grubs."

'Polly doesn't want a cracker, Polly wants a condo in Florida.'

A fat cat in a suit smoking a cigar.

'People that say money can't buy happiness have never had money.'

Country mansion full of dogs.

Outhouse Penthouse

Escaped criminal says: 'I used to live in a gated community, but it wasn't for me.'

Walk in bath.

'Don't worry, dear. I can see the plumber now. He's just getting out of his, Rolls Royce.'

"I got a nose job last summer." "I decided to do my lips and cheekbones." "This isn't even my real head."

"They won't let me disclose the terms of the settlement, but they can't stop me from hinting broadly at it by living extravagantly."

Utility Companies Managers.

'It's lonely at the top, but it's a good lonely.'

The Great Catsby.

'Well, when in doubt, I always say, pick the wine that'll impress the hell out of the complete strangers at the next table.'

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

'Oh, yes, I agree. It is TRAGIC how costly braces have become! We do everything we can to hold prices down.'

'No suspicious circumstances here chief. Just some old rich dude who spoiled himself rotten.'

"If you want folks to see you're serious about carbon off-setting, plant it round the front - this is where our helipad is going!"

"This is my place, and that's the guest house."

'I'd say the couch is contouring a bit TOO much to their bodies.'

'Darling, I'll have my coffee in my den...'

'Parties, discoteques, pubs... It's hard enough spending all your money without me having to earn it first'!

"We specialise in affordable housing - affordable for oil shieks, oligarchs and the heads of colombian cartels..."