Luxury Holidays Gifts

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"First class, or with children?"

La Table

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

I'm looking forward tot he day we can afford some real statues for this place.

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

There is no hurricane season in Aruba...

Private Jet

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

(I ride a harley, I drive a porsche, I smoke cigars, I drink martinis...) (So, ….You're impotent?)

Do not disturb...

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

"I wrote a poem, even though I'm on vacation."

'It has all the comfort of a regular jet, but it's invisible to shareholders.'

The Desert Island Package

"Hey, look at me, I'm a space billionaire."

"Baby, with your money and my money, we could really buy places."

Death Styles of the Rich and Famous

"You can enhance your experience in first class by signing up to get live updates of how miserable everyone in coach is."

"We're at the Grand Marina Hotel in Barcelona. Some sheepdog you turned out to be."

"One day he went for a swim in our infinity pool, and I haven't seen him since."

"As for the meaning of life, it doesn't have to suck."

'One carry-on!'

'It's the bill for your trip to France. When you called to ask if it was okay to bathe in Champagne, I thought you meant the place.'

The Queen Mary 2: World's largest ocean liner.

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

'There are articles all over the press about how stress can kill you!'

Boss, customers are asking why you've doubled prices. I'm just being fair. When the cost of coffee beans go up, everyone thinks I'm justified in raising the price of coffee. But cost increases come in all shapes and sizes. What about my new 80" tv? What about my new car note? What about my manservant I just imported from London? I dream of the day when all costs can be passed on to customers equally. Greed is not a civil right issue!

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

"Shortly after I realized I had plenty, I realized there was plenty more."

'It's very exclusive - if you bump into a celebrity you get a full refund.'

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'