Luxurious Traveler T-Shirts

"I assure you sir, this bag is used exclusively for first-class trash."

This new Tory tax will hit us frequent fliers hard! Who cares. Our air miles more than make up for it.

"First class, or with children?"

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

New Shoes.

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'

Woman thinking about luxuries.

'Don't be nervous, relax...he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like you do. Of course, his pants are tailor made and cost $600 a pair...'

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

Kensington Fluffies

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

'At first I wasn't going to join, but with a name like that, how could I resist?'

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

Smart card.

"I understand the Everest climb used to be quite a chore."