Lucky Strategist T-Shirts

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

'She'll never look for me here.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

"Now at this point reality intruded."

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

'All my children have been successful. Frank here is in the Oval Office.'

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

CX909708

"Am I worried about going belly-up? Well, I can't get my fingers uncrossed and I sleep face down."

'It's not a 20 year low! We've been in business only 19 years.'

"We're making progress."

BUSINESS PRESCHOOL

So what happens when you told Armstrong you wouldn't recite that Sinclair Broadcasting script? Oh, nothing. Sinclair sued me for everything I own, that's all. But the joke's on them: I've set up different LLC's for every aspect of my life. So all they could get were the assets of the LLC that they paid. This opens up a whole world of possibilities. I knew forming Rudy-has-next-to-nada LLC was a good idea. I am going to miss my ten cents and my broken wiffle ball, though.

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

The Death Star gets a marketing makeover.

'Governor game change and his replacement debate moderators...'

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

Cat Trap,

Bear bends hunter's guns.

'After all these years of purposely losing to the boss, I beat the pulp out of him and turned in my resignation.'

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

"Peters, make a joyful noise."