Fortunate Strategist T-Shirts

'Okay, 20% in cash, 30% in bonds and 50% in stocks--You forgot to include lottery tickets.'

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'She'll never look for me here.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

"Now at this point reality intruded."

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

"We're making progress."

CX909708

"Am I worried about going belly-up? Well, I can't get my fingers uncrossed and I sleep face down."

'It's not a 20 year low! We've been in business only 19 years.'

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

'All my children have been successful. Frank here is in the Oval Office.'

BUSINESS PRESCHOOL

So what happens when you told Armstrong you wouldn't recite that Sinclair Broadcasting script? Oh, nothing. Sinclair sued me for everything I own, that's all. But the joke's on them: I've set up different LLC's for every aspect of my life. So all they could get were the assets of the LLC that they paid. This opens up a whole world of possibilities. I knew forming Rudy-has-next-to-nada LLC was a good idea. I am going to miss my ten cents and my broken wiffle ball, though.

The Death Star gets a marketing makeover.

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

Cat Trap,

Bear bends hunter's guns.

"Peters, make a joyful noise."

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

'Of COURSE we appreciate having someone with your expertise in mergers and acquisitions, but offhand I can't think of another corporation that would match up with ours.'

"Ken does know that isn't real money, right?"

"Can I start getting my allowance in Lottery tickets?"

'No kidding? You're the bluebird of mutually assured destruction deterrants?'

How David Really Won

"Dad, I want another dog for my birthday." "NO." "OK. I want a stripper girlfriend for my birthday." "What kind of dog do you want."