Lucky Roller Gifts

'Could someone just tell me if I win anything?'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

'I say we try it.'

Destination casinos...

Vicar's driving lesson "Here endeth the first lesson!"

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

"I was hoping to make billions, but I've settled for making millions."

'Frank said if he ever won a lot of money from online gambling, he wouldn't change, He lied,'

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

A windfall pear falling straight into a bag of windfall pears.

Hunter hits duck with ejected shell.

You Are Now Entering Las Vegas. Lock Your Car And Open Your Wallet

"Wow, fishing sure is fun. I can't believe I caught such a big fish my first time out."

'The reason I'm paid fifty times more is because I think I'm worth it.'

'We ride the storm until greed is back.'

'I'm all in.'

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

"You mean you blame your failure in life on not having won the Irish Sweepstakes in 1970?"

Bishop playing pool, "I like his unholier than thou attitude."

"Have I told you about the time I buried my head in the sand and struck oil?"

"You realise that the job involves Sunday work?"

"Who'da thunk guys like us would ever have found ourselves looking forward to Social Security like this?"

Easy Come, Easy Go: Big Splenders Club.

'I came for the $1.99 seafood buffet--I'm staying for the restrooms.'

Golfer hitting a die.

'Must you make such a big deal out of this?'

"My wife helped me become a millionaire. Before I met her, I was a billionaire."

"I deserve this and much, much more."

'I blew the $50 million settlement I got from my ex here in 6 months. Oh, well, that's 3 more than if I had started a winery.'

'And then it came to me out of the blue--I could quit while I was ahead!'