Lucky Putter Gifts

Golfer hitting a die.

'How did the first game go?' - 'I hit a ball in one.'

Golfing Bishop.

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

Man in Office playing golf, filing cabinet draw marked 'Rough'

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

"Duh!"

Thanks God!

There Are More Things To Life Than Golf...But I Ignore Them. There are more things to life than golf...but I ignore them.

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball'

"On the sixteenth hole? I can sympathize with you, but I can't let you go back and finish the round!"

'Of course I'm concerned with green issues...'

"It's only a game, according to my psychiatrist."

Neanderthal Golf.

'Boy, after you hit the golf ball and hop around a little bit, it ends up being, what's that word... boring.'

'This really is heaven! I don't have the yips anymore!'

"Sir, I would recommend the putter for your tee shot."

'You forgot one of the essential facts of putting - the ball always breaks toward the water.'

'Aim for one of the holes in the ozone layer.'

'I learned a new word today!'

Gambler And Umpire

Golfers sword-fighting with golf clubs.

'Sir, I would recommend the putter for your tee-shot.'

'... And another brand-new Titleist. And another... and another! Man, I can't believe my luck!'

Divine Golf

Meditating on a 4th for golf!

Why Golf is an Outdoor Sport.

'Um... no. I don't think so.'

'I thought we agreed, Father...no praying!'

Golfer hits ball towards ice fisherman's fishing hole

'Quiet!' (to bird in a tree).