Lucky Diner Pillows

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

"Regular service or affected?"

"Would you like to see the markup?"

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

'How would you like that? Medium, rare, or wrapped in plastic on a foam tray?'

"Aperitif?"

"Perhaps I'm asking too much of you in the way of companionship."

'I'll have the steak.' (Fish in tank start jumping for joy).

'Waiter, you seem to have mixed my bill up with somebody who wants to buy this restaurant.'

Lunch

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

"What fly?"

"When I eat out, I like to order something I would never make at home."

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

Man finds a python in his breakfast egg

'What the devil is that?' - 'I don't know, I haven't named it yet.'

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

The wine speaks for itself

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

"His wife's still visiting her mother, so it looks like it's left over pizza for us...again!"

"I'm sending it back. This doesn't taste funny at all."

'Can I get you anything else, sir?'

"Tonight, I feel like eating something controversial."

How to sell healthy food...

'Sir, one waiter is enough to bring the meals, but it takes two to carry the bill.'

"If you order that, you will impress me."