Lp Collector Pillows

"I love the popping sounds on old vinyl LPs..."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Jazz is Invented

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Six jazz instruments.

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

'This must be heaven, because you sure look like an angel....'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

"Why so grim, handsome?"

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Viola, cello, 1st violin and 2nd violin vending machine.

Tiny jazz musicians play large drum and bass.

'Music & Gym'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

'Do you come here often?'

OMG UR HOT

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

Gramaphone Man.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."