Loyalty Program Guru Pillows

'Of course I have your loyalty card - Can you tell me which one it is?'

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'

"Can I interest you in our frequent flyer scheme?"

You've Got Mail

"I hate to break it to you, but you weren't his best friend."

'Fetching your slippers when you were chairman of the board was one thing, but now that you're an ordinary citizen...'

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

The whole club stands behind the coach...

'And how many frequent flyer miles do you have?'

'Uh oh, looks like he had a tough day at the office: Let's jump around to cheer him up...'

Dog following it's master out of a windows.

"I know he is now our richest client but he is very loyal!"

"Wow, you've got tons of loyalty points. Someone's a good boy!"

"As a reward for 25 years of faithful service, here's your new cubical...it's 8% bigger!"

"The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog." - Ambrose Bierce

Punch Card: 'The next divorce is on me.'

"Are you a platinum card member?"

'It's not exactly 'cheap' healthcare, but for each test we run, you accumulate frequent-test reward points.'

'I'm a frequent flier, so it's really quite cheap.'

'He was a very good dog.'

'All those years you struggled financially, I stood by you. It's my turn for a little piece of the pie.'

"After we got Buster fixed, he no longer wants to be our best friend."

"Will that be all, sir?"

'Let's not let some silly carpet come between us being best friends, Carl...'

"Still, Edgar, you were loyal longer than most, and I'd like to thank you for that."