Loves Public Speaking Mishaps Gifts

Lecture on Chaos Theory delayed because the speaker dropped his notes.

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"It's time to get politics out of money."

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

'This is your lucky day!'

'I don't understand your question. Could you restate it as an answer?'

"Please refrain from throwing business cards."

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

'I need to appear bold and decisive. Won't someone PLEASE ask me a yes or no question?'

Eddy's mom suggested that he do his speech on cue cards.

". . . and in the immortal words of the man on our nameplate, 'In this world, nothing is certain but death.'"

"In closing, let me tell you that never in the universe have I spoken before such an attentive audience."

'Your presentation on the advantages of e-commerce would've been better had it not been for the use of the word 'dude' 183 times.'

"I'm going to be a lawyer so I'll be arguing both sides."

'Nervous about this morning's presentation?'

"My lecture is about our short attention spans and what a lovely day it is I should be walking but tomorrow maybe I’ll cut the grass..."

"Wow! You got a promotion? That's so inspirational! What's your secret, Baldo?"

"I enjoyed your speech. Although I was sorry to miss my children growing up."

"This next one's a sad little number I call, 'I left my guitar on the F train.'"

A big dog at lectern.

"Speechmaking during a pandemic can be unnerving.. just pretend there's an audience!"

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

"Not many of you may agree with me..."

"To set the proper mood, you will now hear Winston Churchill's immortal 'blood, toil, tears and sweat' speech."

Vicar losing his place in the sermon.

"That concludes my presentation. I'll now open this up for some answers."