Loves Humorous Twists Gifts

Sheep Pranks.

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

'You were right, you are in the placebo group.'

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

"He, Igor? Who are we to play God with its gender pronouns?"

This is awkward, but I need to ask if you'd like to donate your body to science.

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

Scientist discover a new superbug

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

Plant Closed - Downsized Too Far

A dead Olive found stabbed, in a Cocktail drink

"He calls himself orange roughy, but I remember when his name was slimehead."

'What are you implying?'

'I'd say your financial future is looking bright.'

Home Business - Wife.

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

'Hey, he's just some guy from the neighborhood -- and you know what Chicago neighborhoods are like!'

False starts.

'Want a good read Sex, violence, incest, murder Old Testament.'

"Look, I'm bored, you're bored – why don't you let me go down there and shake things up a bit?"

Magician conjures up a crocodile and is chased by it

Genetically Modified Apples

'I don't know. . . Nobody has ever requested a doggy bag before. . .'

Cloning departments

"No offense..."

'As I see it, there are two groups. Them - who came from nowhere and wear fig leaves - and us, who have been around for a long time, and are just trying to evolve.'

Witch Rowing Team

"First, let me say how much I appreciate your 6-foot social distancing."

The Latter Day Wisdom of Solomon

'Before we get married, Doris, there is something I need to get off my chest.'

'The hamster ball is simple, effective and very economic.'

'Just the one, thanks.'