Loves Historical Humor Pillows

"OK, Brutus, I'll pencil you in, for the Ides of March..."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"You're on a what?!"

When laundry ruled the waves.

'Yes, all at once!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"Bonk!"

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

Early on-line shopping

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

Moses unblocking the toilet.

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

The Algonquin Round Table

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"