Loves Bureaucracy Gifts

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

"Ticket and passport, please."

"So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form AC/765c, criticl interventions are CV/U657's and..."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

MI5 Press Office

Liberties: civil and uncivil.

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

Director: US Space Research.

'We're downsizing the Pentagon into a triangle.'

"Remember, report itemized deductions on Schedule A on your federal form 1040."

"Hi, I'm Hugo -- I'll be your compliance officer."

Auditor General.

"Now, there are just a few more forms for you to sign, and then we're done!"

"Y formerly Department of Government Efficiency"

Washington Monuments

'On behalf of our cabin crew who have voted in favour of strike action over Christmas. . . kindly fill out this form. Please send us your questions and comments about how the strike has effected your plans, ruined your holiday. . .'

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single travel requisition."

'The next disciplinary committee might not be so lenient.'

'Do you want to see the folks from Prague all at once?' - 'No - separate Czechs, please.'

'You've over simplified the accident book.'

Federal Department of Disproportionate Force.

'When she grows up she wants to be a nurse and do filing.'

"Congratulations Dave, after a through vetting process, we've selected you for the promotion."

"Did you do all of this for me?"

'I'm afraid you're going to have to stay with us for a thousand years, but your sins are tax-deductible.'

Man in office notices file cabinet placed in front of the door to the Planning Department.

'I'm a little surprised you got planning permission.'

"Are we going to start working with larger numbers? I want to work as a federal budget director."

Planning officer has a man in his in-tray: 'In order to speed up the system, I have my own personal member of the public to consult.'