Loves Branding Humor Pillows

"I'd add 'UK' to your name and do it in big red letters....that'll be £15,000."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

Office pics on dinner table.

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

"It lost a little something in translation."

In and Out Sourced.

"He'll do anything to say in power."

'I don't want your input until you produce some output.'

Office meeting

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

"Not bad, considering no one knows exactly what we produce or sell here."

Thesaurus Company

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

The role of administration.

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'