Loves Awkward Humor Pillows

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

'It's a shame you didn't get to use all those little blue pills before Ted died.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Today I am trying to grow a bit of beard...

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

'Well this is awkward.'

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

A Centaur Taking A Shower

Scientist discover a new superbug

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

'How much for you to do my tax return?'

"Frankly I'm a bit confused. According to the genetic printout this gentleman is, in fact, a goat

"Can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of something."

"Several groups have claimed responsibility."

'So the little boy who missed his bedtime was eaten by the awful slimy monster and was never heard from again.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

"It's not you, Glen—it's your ex-wife. She's behind me, isn't she?"

Golfer in a tree.

Performance Artist, Performance Spectator

"It's a smaller, less destructive nuclear weapon, but it's also a hat."

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

"It's perfect."

"I'm only guessing, but I think it's a red-tailed warbler..."

"Please welcome our third guest, a toddler with a temper tantrum."

'... And I even made turpentine sauce.'