Loves Awkward Humor Pillows

'Happy Valentine's Day!'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'It's a shame you didn't get to use all those little blue pills before Ted died.'

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

'Well this is awkward.'

Today I am trying to grow a bit of beard...

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

This is awkward, but I need to ask if you'd like to donate your body to science.

"He, Igor? Who are we to play God with its gender pronouns?"

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

That's It

A Centaur Taking A Shower

Scientist discover a new superbug

'How much for you to do my tax return?'

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

"Frankly I'm a bit confused. According to the genetic printout this gentleman is, in fact, a goat

"Can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of something."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"This isn't a donor heart. It's a tuna on rye."

"Several groups have claimed responsibility."

'So the little boy who missed his bedtime was eaten by the awful slimy monster and was never heard from again.'

"It's not you, Glen—it's your ex-wife. She's behind me, isn't she?"

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

Performance Artist, Performance Spectator

Golfer in a tree.

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

"It's a smaller, less destructive nuclear weapon, but it's also a hat."

"It's perfect."

'He was run over by our home. We live in a mobile home park.'

'... And I even made turpentine sauce.'

"Please welcome our third guest, a toddler with a temper tantrum."