Lovers Of Awkward Humor Pillows

'I see by your resume that you're the A - hole whose banging my wife!'

"It's okay. I love hopping in bags!"

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

"You might want to get that fly off your face."

'I used to chase cars. Now I chase yield.'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

"No Eric, you're NOT funny haha. . . you're funny peculiar. . !"

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

Cow Pat Planning

"There's the evidence of our mouse problem!"

"They're only dummy home security signs, but I've sharped the edges so they'll cut you like a razor."

A man shoots his head at a basketball hoop.

The crown

"I told you not to order the Zamboni."

Ice fisherman using plunger to catch fish

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

'...and before we ask the $100,000 question, we've enclosed Carl in our sealed soundproof booth.'

'It was my late grandmother's. She would've wanted you to have it.'

"The cod's off, but you can have whale and chips."

The one thing that drives elephants wild is sickeningly sweet elevator music.

"You forget sometimes how much football owes to the dance."

Man spilling coffee and papers, looking like an awkward dance

'This one here would probably be best for you; It prefers partial shade, needs little water and grows best in esoteric single-panel cartoons.'

Village People Auditions.

"Whoa whoa whoa, I haven't even told you my safe word yet!"

'How long shall we wait until we start eating each other?'

"I'm a freelance radiologist."

'I'm addicted to being against drugs!'

"It's just not the same."

'We can mail these thank you cards now that I've forged your name.'

"So, do you come nowhere often?"