Lovers Of Therapeutic Satire Pillows

"This is not going to help my Messianic complex, doctor."

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

'I don't know...they all look like cows to me.'

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

"I feel your pain level."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

Jack in the box on strike.

Bureaucracy gone mad!

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

'Don't worry. We still have a few more treatment options available.'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

The Modern Damocles -

"Your test results are perfect and there is nothing wrong with you. We will operate on you for it tomorrow."

"Teach me not to care."

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

The Notre Dame Five Year Restoration Plan Swing Into Action.

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'