Lovers Of Kitchen Antics T-Shirts

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

Baker Romance

Cook and her Maids

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

Chef copy robot

"It'll never be ready in time."

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

"Maybe I haven't suffered enough. Why don't you whip up some of your curried pork balls and refried rice for dinner?"

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

'Too much salt!'

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

'The doctor said I was ready for solids, but not this solid!'

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

'It was embarrassing. I always swore I'd die of her cooking.'

'No more beans this week, I think, Matilda.'

"Life is pointless."

Whipping Cream

Flatware Follies.

"I've burnt the roast...Turn down the restaurant lighting a touch!"

JERRY SPRINGER'S GUESTS TODAY

Russian eggs.

Dog reaching over top of counter to steal cookies.

'Maybe it's one of those super-stations.'

"I can't remember if they turned me off or not"

"Mmm. The soup du jour is not cream of mushroom. It is not tomato or celery, it is not chicken, nor is it Scotch broth. It is most definitely not won ton..."

'Sorry...I forgot to mention i'm Dishlexic.'

'I like home cooking if it's in someone else's home.'