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Tea and Coffee

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

'I don't eat red meat. That's ok, this is gone green.'

"It's all about compromise. He's not dishwasher safe and I'm not microwave safe, but we make it work."

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

'What on earth is this? Hedgehog soup.'

'Guys, I think this is one of those 'let it go' moments in life when you have to relax and just trust the processor!'

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

Seriously, try leaving them out for a day. They're delicious al dente!

'Well, that's the last of the garlic repellent.'

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

If the fruit isn't genetically modified, explain the fruit fly.

'O.K. Smarty Pants, here's your fish, cheese, egg, strawberry jam and pickle sandwich with a topping of ice cream and mustard. Pay up!'

"Parrot Fish? Well THAT is going to repeat on me later..."

'Two plates of regurgitated worms?'

Chef using an electric train to roll pastry.

Beach Burger - without sand 75 cents extra.

"Oh boy! My favorite! Squirrel cake!"

'That was our first ashtray... we both quite and now we use it as a candy dish.'

Hospital Food

'Get off me you Crepe.'

'I'll try the turkey, with chestnut and penicillin stuffing.'

"There's a fly in my soup."

'What do you fancy? A Zargoid Fliptonian, or a Martian?'

Cuckoo blender

"Gourmet burgers on rustic platters - coming right up!"

Ants take cheese and grater

'Low fat, high fiber. We'll come back tonight for the rest of them.'

"Egg Beater"

'Possum Helper' added to food.

Earl thought 'Take Your Daughter to Work Day,' was very dumb. 'How about hot dog ice cream?! Or a hot dog already chewed, saving me time by not chewing it?!'

"Say - MacDonald there has a good idea."