Lovers Of Jokes And Puns T-Shirts

"They're saying the whole village enjoyed an Indian take-away last night."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'And in conclusion...'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

Tips on how to reduce those unsightly crow's feet.

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'You give me goose bumps!'

Weather forecast

"Your four-o'clock is here."

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

The static electric eel is very rare.

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

"Being a 'fly on the wall' is way overrated."

"Valentine's Day has been good to me, but I had to diversify."