Lovers Of Jokes And Puns Prints

"They're saying the whole village enjoyed an Indian take-away last night."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'And in conclusion...'

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

Tips on how to reduce those unsightly crow's feet.

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'You give me goose bumps!'

"Your four-o'clock is here."

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

Weather forecast

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

The static electric eel is very rare.

It's not a stampede … It's a flash mob!

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

No, he's not metamorphosing. He's in a time-out.

I'm starting to think you keep working on that thing just to avoid talking to me.

Scents and Scentsibility. Jane Austen.

"Being a 'fly on the wall' is way overrated."

'It's as I feared: you have got a novel in you.'