Lovers Of Comic Irony Pillows

'And after you let him in, I thought he was one of YOUR relatives!'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

End the Winter Blues

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

"Daisy, that fall broke my leg pretty badly. You need to go get help, girl - oh, what a big stretch! Who’s a good stretcher? Daisy’s a good stretcher! What a good girl…"

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

'You keep turning them out and I'll dig a parking garage.'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

'I want my lectures to have entertainment value.'

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

'This pie chart clearly demonstrates the distain with which most people regard pie charts.'

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

You're Out Of Order

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

Perfection Troubleshootors.

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."