Lover Of Tv Comedies Pillows

'Oh, him - he sat on a testicle shifting his weight when SHE came on the telly'

Trial by Media

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

"Spoiler alert."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"No Hand Sanitiser"

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

Menopause and the City

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

'This snuff video you sold me just shows people taking snuff.'

Clownton Abbey

Mobster Dogs Burying Bones

Good Morning Britain

Sue Perkins

Alan Davies.

'Would you believe, all this is just part of a new reality show?'

"Last night we watched three movies back to back. I was the one facing the telly."

Stephen Fry

'In the event of a new Gulf War, Letterman and Leno agreed to reduce their arsenal of middle eastern jokes and stockpile them for possible use later...'

'Of course I've done something about Lady Godiva -- I had security cameras installed all over town!'

"Sorry, honey, I used up all the sunblock. How 'bout we cover you in mayonnaise instead?"

Bunny TV.

'Hmm. . . no criminal record. I'm concerned you lack commitment.'

"C-Span is our reality television."

"Anything in Mr, Rogers' neighborhood?"

"His majesty wants to binge-watch some comedy. Can you whip up 10 hours of new material?"

Linda Carter played Wonder Woman on the odl TV show. Her dad was Irish-American and her mom was Mexican-American. Before that, she was Miss World USA. Before that, she was forced by her abuelita to eat beauty and muscle foods like rice and beans."

"Heh, I've left a pin on his seat."

'Oh, please! Not another of your 'my colleagues hate me' stories! I'm sure it's all in your head!'