Lover Of Tv Comedies Pillows

'Oh, him - he sat on a testicle shifting his weight when SHE came on the telly'

Trial by Media

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"Spoiler alert."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"No Hand Sanitiser"

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

Mobster Dogs Burying Bones

"Sorry, honey, I used up all the sunblock. How 'bout we cover you in mayonnaise instead?"

"C-Span is our reality television."

"Last night we watched three movies back to back. I was the one facing the telly."

'Of course I've done something about Lady Godiva -- I had security cameras installed all over town!'

Bunny TV.

'Would you believe, all this is just part of a new reality show?'

'In the event of a new Gulf War, Letterman and Leno agreed to reduce their arsenal of middle eastern jokes and stockpile them for possible use later...'

'Oh, please! Not another of your 'my colleagues hate me' stories! I'm sure it's all in your head!'

"Heh, I've left a pin on his seat."